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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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stepmom

Step, Adoptive, and Bio Mom – a Story of my Beautiful, Blended Family

Many people know the story of my family, but if you don’t, I wrote an article detailing how amazing my family actually is and how excited I am to be a mom – with many different prefixes.

https://adoption.com/stepmom-adoptive-biological-mom

 

Adopt…And Then You’ll Get Pregnant

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this phrase – before, during, and after our adoption process. And, although it happens, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

BEFORE Continue reading “Adopt…And Then You’ll Get Pregnant”

Adoption.com

I have some exciting news I’m now ready to make public – I am officially a staff writer for the website Adoption.com!

This new adventure started as a shameless promotion of this very blog.  I follow a lot of adoption type groups/websites on Facebook, and I thought I’d promote Betrothed Babies Blog, while asking them how they get people to write the articles they post.  I knew I had a voice that could be added to the content they already publish, and it was time to do a little self promotion!

I messaged about 4 different groups, giving them the link to the blog and asking how they hired their writers, and Adoption.com responded back saying they loved the blog and offered me a spot as a staff writer!

My first article will be published next week, and I’ll link to all of the articles I write for them on this blog as well.

Don’t worry, I’ll still be writing plenty of other content (adoption, new mommy, step mom, infertility, life, etc.) that is specific to Betrothed Babies Blog, and can only be found here.

I’m very excited about this opportunity to continue to talk about adoption, and I thank you all in advance for your continued support!

Sports and Singing and Sanity…oh my!

How much ‘stuff’ does your kid do? How much is too much?  Growing up, my parents always told my brother and I that we could do whatever extra curricular activity we wanted provided 1. Our grades stayed up and 2. We stuck out the activity for the entire season.

Now, I was lucky. I found my ‘niche’ pretty early on in life. I was 8 when I performed in my first musical, and it was over from there. I was hooked and doing musicals was my thing. I did about 3 shows a year (mostly through fall, spring, and summer theatre camps) but I loved it. I still love it and still perform when it fits into my schedule.

I tried a few other activities along the way. I played softball for several summers. (I stunk, but my dad was the coach, and he made me feel like I was the best player on the team.) I even ran track one year in middle school only because my friends were running. My friend Sarah and I cared more about our matching track French braids than we did our running times.  Continue reading “Sports and Singing and Sanity…oh my!”

Is it wrong…?

Is it wrong to still mourn my infertility as I sit and watch my son laugh and play in his exersaucer? Is it wrong to still feel a twinge (ok, sometimes more like an explosion) of jealousy when friends and family members announce their pregnancy to me? It is wrong to love adoption and be so happy to be a mom but still mourn the loss of the biological children I’ll never have?

I’m feeling conflicted today. One of my dear friends recently announced she was pregnant, and I am SO HAPPY for her. I’m not just saying that. I truly am. But, I’m also jealous. Why can’t I randomly have sex with my husband and find out a few weeks later that I’m pregnant? Why does it work for other people and not for me?

And I know. I know I wanted to be a mom, not necessarily wanted to be pregnant (although, most of the time, the two go hand in hand), and I am a mom. I can’t imagine my life without Vincent in it. I truly believe he was meant to be my son from before I even met Husband. And I’m happy! I love Vincent. I love my family. I love his birthparents. I love my life.

526b9bdb4aa3dc1f22651f6dcaeb6d7bSo why? Why still was I up at night sobbing because I found out happy news about a friend being pregnant? Why can’t I shake the feeling that it’s not fair? That somewhere, someone is raising a large middle finger my way and saying “ha ha ha, look at what all these other people get, and you can’t!” Why does it still bother me? Continue reading “Is it wrong…?”

Where are all my stepparents at?

There’s a delicate balance that comes from being a stepparent. You’re parenting a child who has a mother and a father who are both involved in his life, and, in my case, a stepfather as well. Four people parenting one child is a dance, especially if you’re the stepparent.

IMG_0100
He’s still a baby here!

Some days I really hate being a stepmom. Please don’t take this the wrong way, I love Z as if I’d given birth to him. I treat him no differently then I treat (or will treat) Vincent as he grows up. I’ve been in Z’s life since he was 3 and now he’s 8. I feel like every single bit of his parent as his biological parents.

And maybe that’s where the trouble comes. I’m not Z’s mom. I don’t mean this in any way except the truth. I’m not his mom. I never will be his mom. He has a mom who is very much involved in his life, and I’m not a replacement. I’m a totally different “mom like being” in his life. Continue reading “Where are all my stepparents at?”

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