I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this phrase – before, during, and after our adoption process. And, although it happens, it couldn’t be further from the truth.
I’ve always wanted four kids. That’s not a secret. Husband and I had unofficially decided on three and a half…counting Z as the “half”. Not that he’s half of a child, but that he’s with us half of the time… When I found out about my infertility, the plan of 4 kids takes a drastically different turn. There’s no longer the question of “how many kids?” there’s only the question of, “will there ever be ANY kids?” Continue reading “Why I’m Scared to Adopt Again”
I have some exciting news I’m now ready to make public – I am officially a staff writer for the website Adoption.com!
This new adventure started as a shameless promotion of this very blog. I follow a lot of adoption type groups/websites on Facebook, and I thought I’d promote Betrothed Babies Blog, while asking them how they get people to write the articles they post. I knew I had a voice that could be added to the content they already publish, and it was time to do a little self promotion!
I messaged about 4 different groups, giving them the link to the blog and asking how they hired their writers, and Adoption.com responded back saying they loved the blog and offered me a spot as a staff writer!
My first article will be published next week, and I’ll link to all of the articles I write for them on this blog as well.
I’m very excited about this opportunity to continue to talk about adoption, and I thank you all in advance for your continued support!
How much ‘stuff’ does your kid do? How much is too much? Growing up, my parents always told my brother and I that we could do whatever extra curricular activity we wanted provided 1. Our grades stayed up and 2. We stuck out the activity for the entire season.
Now, I was lucky. I found my ‘niche’ pretty early on in life. I was 8 when I performed in my first musical, and it was over from there. I was hooked and doing musicals was my thing. I did about 3 shows a year (mostly through fall, spring, and summer theatre camps) but I loved it. I still love it and still perform when it fits into my schedule.
I tried a few other activities along the way. I played softball for several summers. (I stunk, but my dad was the coach, and he made me feel like I was the best player on the team.) I even ran track one year in middle school only because my friends were running. My friend Sarah and I cared more about our matching track French braids than we did our running times. Continue reading “Sports and Singing and Sanity…oh my!”
Is it wrong to still mourn my infertility as I sit and watch my son laugh and play in his exersaucer? Is it wrong to still feel a twinge (ok, sometimes more like an explosion) of jealousy when friends and family members announce their pregnancy to me? It is wrong to love adoption and be so happy to be a mom but still mourn the loss of the biological children I’ll never have?
I’m feeling conflicted today. One of my dear friends recently announced she was pregnant, and I am SO HAPPY for her. I’m not just saying that. I truly am. But, I’m also jealous. Why can’t I randomly have sex with my husband and find out a few weeks later that I’m pregnant? Why does it work for other people and not for me?
And I know. I know I wanted to be a mom, not necessarily wanted to be pregnant (although, most of the time, the two go hand in hand), and I am a mom. I can’t imagine my life without Vincent in it. I truly believe he was meant to be my son from before I even met Husband. And I’m happy! I love Vincent. I love my family. I love his birthparents. I love my life.
So why? Why still was I up at night sobbing because I found out happy news about a friend being pregnant? Why can’t I shake the feeling that it’s not fair? That somewhere, someone is raising a large middle finger my way and saying “ha ha ha, look at what all these other people get, and you can’t!” Why does it still bother me? Continue reading “Is it wrong…?”
November is National Adoption Month. Last year, Husband and I publicly announced our plans to adopt during this month. Who knew we’d be parents to a beautiful 6 month old baby boy only a short year later?
Adoption has truly changed our lives for the better. We now have another son (one who permanently lives with us). My parents are first time grandparents to a baby. My brother now has a baby nephew. My grandparents are first time great grandparents to a baby. My aunts and uncles all get to add “great” to their names too. My cousins’ kids now have a new friend to grow up and play with. My friends became “aunties” and “uncles”. Husband, Z, and I gained two new family members in Vincent’s birthparents. Even our friends of friends seem to be positively affected by our adoption story. Continue reading “National Adoption Month”
As our blog is starting to see some traction outside our own friends and family, we’ve decided it may be helpful to have a timeline for those not as intimately woven into our lives. These are some of the key moments that are relevant to the stories you’re reading on this blog.
January 20, 2008: Bridgette and her husband, Derek, become “Facebook Official”
January 23, 2011: Ryann and Husband go on their first date
September 1, 2012: Bridgette and Derek get married
July 27, 2013: Ryann and Bridgette meet at a mutual friend’s bachelorette party
December 28, 2013: Ryann and Husband get married, and Ryann officially becomes Z’s stepmom
March 2014: Ryann gets the infertility bomb dropped on her
August 2014: Bridgette finds out she’s pregnant
November 5, 2014: Ryann and Husband publicly announce their plans to adopt
November 10, 2014: Bridgette goes to the ER with complications from hyperemesis gravidarum
November 21, 2014: Bridgette and Derek find out they’re having a girl
January 2015: Bridgette diagnosed with gall stones
March 2015: Ryann gets the email about a potential baby (which turned out to be Vincent)
April 3, 2015: Bridgette goes to the hospital in labor, but not far enough along
April 4, 2015: Keely Kangaroo is born!
April 6, 2015: Bridgette, Derek and the little kangaroo go home
April 8, 2015: Ryann and Husband meet with Vincent’s birth parents for the first time
April 14, 2015: Vincent the Magnificent is born!
April 18, 2015: Ryann and Husband take Vincent home from the hospital
October 26, 2015: Vincent the Magnificent’s adoption is finalized!
So, right now I’m totally using my blog as a very scientific poll to see whether or not you think I should get a tattoo. Growing up, I was very anti-tattoos. I’m pretty sure I even wrote a letter saying that if my mom ever got a tattoo it gave me the permission to go live with my aunt. Even in my 20s I still wasn’t crazy about tattoos. I couldn’t think of something that I would want permanently on my body. However, since my 30s, I’ve been warming up to the idea of tattoos. I like ones that have meaning and have a story. Something that shows the significance of a momentous occasion in your life.
Imagine something you’ve always wanted. Like, really wanted. Not a trip to Hawaii or a million dollars. Something you’ve yearned for, planned for, and dreamed about. Something you thought would come fairly easy once all of the plans were put into place. Something you’re sort of “expected” to be able to do.
Now imagine that’s taken away from you. Not only taken away. It will NEVER happen. The one thing you want more than anything else in the world you will never have, never experience, never know.
Painful, right? Continue reading “Infertility Sucks”