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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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miscarriage

How DID you get pregnant???

I realize that I touched on, but never really went into detail on how I went from having a 1% chance of conceiving to giving birth to a beautiful baby girl. Don’t worry, this isn’t a birds and the bees ‘how babies are made’ blog, this is a blog about acupuncture. Continue reading “How DID you get pregnant???”

Immaculate Conception Miracles

Today is one of my favorite Catholic feast days – the feast of the Immaculate Conception – the day when Mary said “yes” to being Jesus’ mother.***(see edit)

“Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his Kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel,
“How can this be,
since I have no relations with a man?”
And the angel said to her in reply,
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born
will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative,
has also conceived a son in her old age,
and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren;
for nothing will be impossible for God.”
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word.”

As I was playing the piano for Mass this morning, feeling very pregnant, I had a few reflections.  The line “for nothing will be impossible for God” always gets me.  When dealing with infertility, so much seems “impossible.”  Becoming a mom was seeming impossible.  Biological children were impossible.  My dreams were becoming impossible.  But this line – nothing is impossible with God – still gets me.   Continue reading “Immaculate Conception Miracles”

Due Date

Yesterday was my due date for the baby I miscarried.  Yesterday I could’ve been in the hospital holding a screaming baby in my arms, and today Vincent and Z could be meeting their newest brother or sister.  But I didn’t feel sad, and I don’t feel sad.  I didn’t feel much of anything except an acknowledgement of the day, and I continued on with my life. Continue reading “Due Date”

Adopt…And Then You’ll Get Pregnant

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard this phrase – before, during, and after our adoption process. And, although it happens, it couldn’t be further from the truth.

BEFORE Continue reading “Adopt…And Then You’ll Get Pregnant”

Why is Pregnancy so Scary?

I can’t be the only woman in the world who is terrified of being pregnant, right?  Please tell me there are more of you out there and that I’m not alone.

Last night I had a terrible time falling asleep.  I was nauseous, (I could only stomach 4 pieces of toast and some strawberries for dinner) but my lower back also really hurt.  Logically I can figure out that it’s probably because I was on my feet quite a bit Wednesday and Thursday between all of the end of the school year stuff going on, but it’s still unnerving when the three main symptoms of miscarriage are bleeding, cramping, and lower back pain. Continue reading “Why is Pregnancy so Scary?”

I’m Pregnant

I wasn’t going to write this, at least not now, not this early, but it’s just not my style to stay quiet, especially with my body and my story.

I’m pregnant. Continue reading “I’m Pregnant”

The Weight of Weight

I stepped on the scale this morning and a very unpleasant number stared back at me.  Yikes, I thought.  I haven’t weighed this much since after I got out of college, lived back at home, and thought I could eat whatever I wanted, not work out, and be totally fine.  Mind you, I was 22 when that happened, and now it’s 11 years later, and a whole lot easier to gain weight and a whole lot harder to lose it.

Prior to my infertility diagnosis, I started watching what I ate and logging my calories.  For me, that’s the only course of action that works.  I use My Fitness Pal, log my exercise and what I ate, and try my best to stay at or under my calories each day.  When you’re responsible for writing down everything you put in your mouth, those chocolate covered marshmallow eggs seem far less appealing knowing that they’ll quickly bump those calories consumed up, up, up. Continue reading “The Weight of Weight”

How Adoption Helped Me Cope With My Miscarriage

I haven’t posted much lately about my miscarriage.  My life has been going on as normal, but it’s not like I’ve forgotten.  There is no possible scenario where I could forget or 100% heal.  I just choose (for my own happiness and well being) not to dwell 24/7 on something so sad when I have wonderful things happening every day right in front of my eyes.

I was able to put into words how being a mom, specifically an adoptive mom, helped me cope with my miscarriage.  Please read the article linked below.

http://adoption.com/how-adoption-helped-me-cope-with-my-miscarriage

I Hate My Ovaries

*****DISCLAIMER*****

 This is an angry post filled with hate and foul language directed at my infertility. If you don’t like that or don’t think I’m capable of such profanities, please don’t read any further. I will not justify or apologize for what I wrote. It’s a very honest representation about how I’m currently feeling. And I know I just posted an article about being humble, and I’m turning right around and posting this very negative, pessimistic article, so feel free to call me a big, fat hypocrite if that makes you feel better or if you feel I deserve it. I can handle it. These are the type of emotional mood swings that infertility can cause you to have.  You’ve been warned if you choose to read on.

It’s not pretty.

Continue reading “I Hate My Ovaries”

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