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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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judgement

Raise Those Kids Right

Last night was a rough night for Mommy and Vinny.  I’ve been off all summer, and just started back to work this week with inservices and meetings which means that the kids were back to the babysitter.  Well, if you remember, we are living in my parents’ house while we fix up our new house and sell our old one, so we had to switch Vincent’s babysitter right about the time when he turned 2.  It’s better, but it’s still a hard transition for the little man.  And “hard transition” equals not napping or eating and becoming a train wreck the entire night.  I know he’ll figure it out once we get back into the swing of things, but last night he was up at 12:30 and came into Mommy’s bed for the rest of the night.  (Not a practice I make a habit of…in fact, this was the first time he’s spent the entire night in our bed, but I digress…)  So, needless to say, Mommy didn’t get a great night’s sleep, and I don’t think Vinny did either.

When Sydney got up to eat around 6:30ish, I was looking at my phone, checking my emails and texts, and, of course, browsing Facebook.  Well, if you are friends with me in real life, or on Facebook (or both!) you probably saw a status I had posted asking for prayers and positivity as I went back to school and didn’t get to spend 24/7 with my kiddos.  I got so many beautiful comments telling me basically what I already knew (but still needed to hear) it IS possible to be a good employee AND a good mother.  I saw that someone else commented on that status (a person I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 10 years) and this is what she wrote, “You wanted kids so badly, and now you want to leave them?  WHY??? You should stay at home and raise those kids right.” Continue reading “Raise Those Kids Right”

Plank in My Eye

So, I started writing a pretty negative post today about how I’ve been feeling judgment, and I was going to be quite yell-y and probably judgmental myself towards the people and groups of people who I perceived were judging me. Then I went to Mass, and, as it usually happens, I was struck over the head with a spiritual 2×4. The gospel today included this story: Continue reading “Plank in My Eye”

The Mommy Wars

There are so many blogs about how to feed your baby it’s overwhelming.  And the worst of it is people feel shamed because of their choices – whether or not it’s in their control.

As an adoptive mom, I didn’t have much of a say on whether or not I wanted to breastfeed, but poor Bridgette put herself, her body, and her baby through hell trying to breastfeed and pump because she wanted to.  Because we’re all told you “should” do this.  Because it’s natural and good for your baby and whatever.  I’m not going to debate that.  I know the benefits of breastfeeding, and I wish I could have done it.  Bridgette wishes she could have breastfed longer than she did.  But at some point it just becomes too much and you have to do what you have to do to save your sanity.

I was lucky enough to be a guest on a podcast with New Mommy Media, a group offering support for new moms specifically through pregnancy, twin moms, and breastfeeding. The podcast I was on was called The Boob Group – The Mommy Wars:  How Do You Feed Your Baby?  We all talked about breast and bottle feeding shaming and how people are judged negatively and positively for both ways of feeding your baby.

I’m not sure I completely belonged in a group/podcast talking about breastfeeding since I’ve never done it, but it was nice to offer some of my opinions as to how I feel about feeding my son.

The process of recording was interesting – I was way more nervous than I thought I would be.  It was strange talking to nothing essentially because I couldn’t see the ladies I was chatting with, but overall I think it turned into a positive experience.

Bridgette and I have talked about adding a podcast element to BBB, and recording this gave me a little bit of an insight into how it could work.  Stay tuned…

In the meantime, here’s a link to the podcast in iTunes if you’d like to listen to it – https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/mommy-wars-how-do-you-feed/id539410267?i=1000368589377&mt=2

 

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