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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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grief

The Lemons and Lemonade of Adoption

Sometimes life is sour, but it’s all about what you choose to do with those sour moments that make it worth it.

Please check out my latest adoption.com article about the lemons and lemonade of adoption by clicking the link below.

https://adoption.com/the-lemons-and-lemonade-of-adoption

Should I Encourage People to Adopt?

It’s never our place to meddle in someone else’s life and choices, but is it ever appropriate to give them the extra push they might need towards adoption? Check out my opinion by clicking the link below

https://adoption.com/should-i-encourage-people-to-adopt

Due Date

Yesterday was my due date for the baby I miscarried.  Yesterday I could’ve been in the hospital holding a screaming baby in my arms, and today Vincent and Z could be meeting their newest brother or sister.  But I didn’t feel sad, and I don’t feel sad.  I didn’t feel much of anything except an acknowledgement of the day, and I continued on with my life. Continue reading “Due Date”

I Feel Like We Will Never Be Parents

This is my latest adoption.com article, and I’ll admit it was a hard one to write given my current state:  Mommy to the greatest one year old EVER and 7 weeks (tomorrow) pregnant.  But it’s important to remember the emotions infertility leaves you with because they never really go away.  And during the adoption wait feeling despair is raw, real, and sometimes all consuming.

Please read my article about feeling like we’ll never be parents during the wait:

https://adoption.com/feeling-despair-during-the-wait

 

 

I Ask For the Nations…

My mom read my blog about being scared to adopt again. This isn’t news, she’s my mom, my biggest supporter, and she reads everything that I write. But she said to me, “Honey, if you want to adopt again, go for it. Leave it in God’s hands and He’ll take care of it.” Normally, I’d take this advice, but instead I spat back at her, “I left everything in God’s hands, and He let me get pregnant only to have it end in miscarriage. So I’m not sure how much leaving another adoption in His hands is going to work out for me.” She replied with, “That isn’t fair to say.” To which I said, “I don’t care. That’s how I feel right now.”

Continue reading “I Ask For the Nations…”

Back to Work

Musings of my first week back to work…

Monday, January 11

I go back to work tomorrow. I don’t want to. I’m not ready, but I’m afraid I’ll never be ready. I’m afraid that when I go back everything will be the same. I’m afraid that when I go back nothing will be the same. I’m afraid I won’t have the same enthusiasm I normally have while teaching. I’m afraid of the questions I’ll have to answer. I’m afraid of the questions that won’t be asked. Continue reading “Back to Work”

Gone.

I sat down to write a blog about the physical pain of miscarriage because there’s a lot. And it’s awful. But it wasn’t shaping up, and I think it wasn’t writing itself like I wanted because I can’t separate the emotional pain from the physical pain. I’m just constantly in pain, but I’m never sure which one is going to hit at any given time.

With every cramp and every time I go to the bathroom, I’m reminded that this isn’t just a regular period. This is happening because my baby is gone.

My baby is gone. Continue reading “Gone.”

Just like that

I was pregnant. And now I’m not.

Just like that.

I suppose I should back up and start at the beginning. Because I write about adoption, not pregnancy. Bridgette is the BBB author who can get pregnant. I have a 1% chance. Apparently I am the 1%. Continue reading “Just like that”

Infertility Sucks

Imagine something you’ve always wanted. Like, really wanted. Not a trip to Hawaii or a million dollars. Something you’ve yearned for, planned for, and dreamed about. Something you thought would come fairly easy once all of the plans were put into place. Something you’re sort of “expected” to be able to do.

Now imagine that’s taken away from you. Not only taken away. It will NEVER happen. The one thing you want more than anything else in the world you will never have, never experience, never know.

Painful, right? Continue reading “Infertility Sucks”

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