So, I started writing a pretty negative post today about how I’ve been feeling judgment, and I was going to be quite yell-y and probably judgmental myself towards the people and groups of people who I perceived were judging me. Then I went to Mass, and, as it usually happens, I was struck over the head with a spiritual 2×4. The gospel today included this story: Continue reading “Plank in My Eye”
My mom read my blog about being scared to adopt again. This isn’t news, she’s my mom, my biggest supporter, and she reads everything that I write. But she said to me, “Honey, if you want to adopt again, go for it. Leave it in God’s hands and He’ll take care of it.” Normally, I’d take this advice, but instead I spat back at her, “I left everything in God’s hands, and He let me get pregnant only to have it end in miscarriage. So I’m not sure how much leaving another adoption in His hands is going to work out for me.” She replied with, “That isn’t fair to say.” To which I said, “I don’t care. That’s how I feel right now.”
So, right now I’m totally using my blog as a very scientific poll to see whether or not you think I should get a tattoo. Growing up, I was very anti-tattoos. I’m pretty sure I even wrote a letter saying that if my mom ever got a tattoo it gave me the permission to go live with my aunt. Even in my 20s I still wasn’t crazy about tattoos. I couldn’t think of something that I would want permanently on my body. However, since my 30s, I’ve been warming up to the idea of tattoos. I like ones that have meaning and have a story. Something that shows the significance of a momentous occasion in your life.
Imagine something you’ve always wanted. Like, really wanted. Not a trip to Hawaii or a million dollars. Something you’ve yearned for, planned for, and dreamed about. Something you thought would come fairly easy once all of the plans were put into place. Something you’re sort of “expected” to be able to do.
Now imagine that’s taken away from you. Not only taken away. It will NEVER happen. The one thing you want more than anything else in the world you will never have, never experience, never know.
Painful, right? Continue reading “Infertility Sucks”