For the past few months, I’ve been saying silent decades of the rosary when laying my kids to sleep. I figure it’s as good of a time as any, and it really helps me focus and stay calm instead of letting my anxiety spiral out of control because WHY AREN’T THESE KIDS SLEEPING YET? Continue reading “Hail Mary, Full of Grace”
Today is one of my favorite Catholic feast days – the feast of the Immaculate Conception – the day when Mary said “yes” to being Jesus’ mother.***(see edit)
“Do not be afraid, Mary,
for you have found favor with God.
Behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son,
and you shall name him Jesus.
He will be great and will be called Son of the Most High,
and the Lord God will give him the throne of David his father,
and he will rule over the house of Jacob forever,
and of his Kingdom there will be no end.”
But Mary said to the angel,
“How can this be,
since I have no relations with a man?”
And the angel said to her in reply,
“The Holy Spirit will come upon you,
and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.
Therefore the child to be born
will be called holy, the Son of God.
And behold, Elizabeth, your relative,
has also conceived a son in her old age,
and this is the sixth month for her who was called barren;
for nothing will be impossible for God.”
Mary said, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord.
May it be done to me according to your word.”
As I was playing the piano for Mass this morning, feeling very pregnant, I had a few reflections. The line “for nothing will be impossible for God” always gets me. When dealing with infertility, so much seems “impossible.” Becoming a mom was seeming impossible. Biological children were impossible. My dreams were becoming impossible. But this line – nothing is impossible with God – still gets me. Continue reading “Immaculate Conception Miracles”
My mom read my blog about being scared to adopt again. This isn’t news, she’s my mom, my biggest supporter, and she reads everything that I write. But she said to me, “Honey, if you want to adopt again, go for it. Leave it in God’s hands and He’ll take care of it.” Normally, I’d take this advice, but instead I spat back at her, “I left everything in God’s hands, and He let me get pregnant only to have it end in miscarriage. So I’m not sure how much leaving another adoption in His hands is going to work out for me.” She replied with, “That isn’t fair to say.” To which I said, “I don’t care. That’s how I feel right now.”
So, I just read this blog which described the roller coaster of emotions you can experience in the few minutes it takes you to read an email, and it brought back a flood of emotions for me about the adoption wait. Since the road to adoption and the adoption process are quite lengthy, I’ve decided to split up these thoughts into a few different blog entries. All of them will be titled “The Road to Adoption” with a subtitle of what specifically I’ll be talking about in that entry.
Many of you know Husband and I didn’t want to wait to have kids once we got married. We already had Z, and we wanted children we could raise together. When I got the infertility bomb dropped on me 3 months after we got married, naturally we were both devastated, however, I think I was more realistic than Husband about it.
My husband is a wonderful man, but he tends to live in a utopia world in his head. He has had some sheer dumb luck in his past which allows him to think that nothing bad will ever/can ever happen to him. He’s a problem solver. And infertility was a problem he was just going to solve. Continue reading “The Road to Adoption – Part 1, Time”