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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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birth dad

The #1 Thing You Can Do to Have an Amazing Open Adoption

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times – we have an amazing open adoption with my son and his birthparents.  Want to know how we do it?  Click the link below!

https://adoption.com/1-thing-you-can-do-amazing-open-adoption

 

Adopting.org – Adoption Stuff Worth Sharing

You all know I write for Adoption.com – I link most of the articles I write there on this blog as well.  For me, it’s a nice outlet to write for an audience directly involved in the adoption triad, and it keeps me fresh and educated on topics pertaining to adoption.  It also connects me with other adoptive moms, birth moms, and adoptees who share their stories  and experiences.  Vinny is only 17 months old, and I don’t pretend to know how his feelings about adoption will grow and change as he gets older, but being connected with all of these other people who share a love of adoption is a great resource for me.

Well, the people at Adoption.com have created another wonderful resource for any and all people involved in the adoption triad – the website Adopting.org – Adoption Stuff Worth Sharing.  It’s a Pinterest inspired site where blog articles, memes, videos, quizzes,  and more related to adoption are shared.  There’s even a place for you to share your own content (subject to edits and approval) but if you have an adoption story that you think can help someone else, please submit it because chances are, it could end up on that page.  (They just shared my blog about birth moms, and how this pregnancy makes me appreciate their sacrifice even more.)

Give the new website a look, bookmark it and check back often – especially if you are directly related to the adoption community.  Trust me, it’s worth it!

Questions to Ask an Expectant Mother During Your First Phone Call or Meeting

The first meeting between a hopeful adoptive parent and an expectant mother is kind of like a really weird blind date. You need to be prepared for anything, but you also have to be flexible and honest. (Well, maybe way more honest in this situation than on an actual blind date.)

Here are some examples of questions hopeful adoptive parents should have ready to ask, as well as some advice for how to tactfully ask them, during that first meeting. Please click on the link below for the article.

https://adoption.com/questions-to-ask-expectant-moms-during-your-first-phone-call-or-meeting

 

Strengthening Bonds Between Birth and Adoptive Families

The bond between parents and children is an interesting dynamic.  It’s really the only relationship where it’s encouraged and taught to grow apart instead of growing together.  You start off completely dependent on one another and then the relationship is considered a success if the child grows up to be independent and not relying on his/her parents for everything in life.

Of course the relationship and the love is always there, and that grows and strengthens as the child grows up, but what about when there are multiple families involved?  And a “different than the norm” story to go along with your birth?  In my latest adoption.com article I address what’s most important when strengthening bonds in birth and adoptive families.  Please check out the link below.

https://adoption.com/finding-balance-while-strengthening-bonds-in-both-adoptive-and-birth-families

 

Turning off the Negative Nellys!

Ugh. I’m feeling the negativity today. I looked at one of my Adoption.com articles and read some nasty comments. Comments about how I stole Vincent away from his God given mother. And how they hope he never comes across this article when he’s older because I share my honest thoughts that coming to terms with adoption isn’t easy, and that it’s a difficult road for everyone involved, and that, yes, Husband didn’t want to adopt at first.

But I also said that Husband loves Vincent more than I’ve ever seen him love anyone, and that while adoption might not be the first choice, it’s a beautiful choice, and it’s made us a family. A family that includes Vincent’s birth parents. No, they don’t coparent or share custody or anything like that, but they are absolutely family.

Then I read another article written by a beautiful, young birthmother who also writes for Adoption.com, and there are some awful comments there too! Comments telling her she’s wrong for being at peace with placing her child. Others that say going to prom or wanting to go to college aren’t legitimate reasons for “giving your child away.” And that she’s basically super selfish and should accept the consequences for having unprotected sex and not being ready to have a child.
Continue reading “Turning off the Negative Nellys!”

5 Things You Might Not Get About My Adopted Child

Here’s my latest from Adoption.com. I enjoyed writing this article because I feel it helps people get a better understanding of adoption, adoption positive language, and the fact that it’s such a beautiful expression of love.

Please check out the article here:  http://adoption.com/5-things-you-might-not-get-about-my-adopted-child

Why I’m Scared to Adopt Again

I’ve always wanted four kids. That’s not a secret. Husband and I had unofficially decided on three and a half…counting Z as the “half”. Not that he’s half of a child, but that he’s with us half of the time… When I found out about my infertility, the plan of 4 kids takes a drastically different turn. There’s no longer the question of “how many kids?” there’s only the question of, “will there ever be ANY kids?” Continue reading “Why I’m Scared to Adopt Again”

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month.  Last year, Husband and I publicly announced our plans to adopt during this month.  Who knew we’d be parents to a beautiful 6 month old baby boy only a short year later?

Adoption has truly changed our lives for the better.  We now have another son (one who permanently lives with us).  My parents are first time grandparents to a baby.  My brother now has a baby nephew.  My grandparents are first time great grandparents to a baby.  My aunts and uncles all get to add “great” to their names too.  My cousins’ kids now have a new friend to grow up and play with.  My friends became “aunties” and “uncles”.  Husband, Z, and I gained two new family members in Vincent’s birthparents.  Even our friends of friends seem to be positively affected by our adoption story. Continue reading “National Adoption Month”

Why I’m Choosing an Open Adoption

To define an “open” adoption basically means there is contact between the birth family and the adoptive family. Contact can be anything from letters and pictures sent through the agency to phone calls to visits and anything in between.

So, I know what immediately comes to most people’s minds – “I saw this Lifetime movie…” or “Well, on Teen Mom…” But, rest assured, real life is NOT like what you see on TV. There will be no random biological family member coming to our house to steal our child away from us because they “have that legal right.” Continue reading “Why I’m Choosing an Open Adoption”

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