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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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Tony’s Birth Story

On Monday, May 3 I had what I dismissed as a passing thought – “I bet I go to the doctor tomorrow and she tells me I’m going to have a baby that day.” I’d had no consistent contractions and really nothing to base this thought on except the fact that at over 39 weeks I was certainly ready to not be pregnant anymore. So, I went about my day. But I made sure to really enjoy my time with Sydney since it was going to be our last Monday together as just us. Tuesday started off well enough. I got observed at work and then walked to the hospital for my 10:00 doctor appointment. I got on the non stress test machine (because at 37, I am “advanced maternal age” and have these tests as a precaution every week from 36 weeks on) and normally baby shows off for these tests, moving like crazy, heart rate doing what it’s supposed to do, just generally being an awesome baby. Well, Tuesday was the exception – he barely moved and his heart rate stayed steady instead of spiking like it should. They called it a non responsive non stress test and sent me upstairs for an ultrasound to check fluid, movement, and baby’s practice breathing. I had noticed some decreased movement in the previous days (he always moved the required amount, but it wasn’t like he normally moved) and I mentioned that to the doctor, along with the fact that I was nauseous and throwing up the past few days. The ultrasound came back fine. He did what he was supposed to do, so when the tech said, “Let me see if the doctor wants to talk to you.” I figured I’d be scheduling an induction for Sunday (his due date) and going home to see if spontaneous labor started prior to then. But she didn’t say that, she came in and told me it wasn’t an immediate concern, but, essentially, because of the non responsive NST and the decreased movement, she recommended inducing that day because the risks of that were close to zero while the risks of waiting increased the chance of complications.

That was a shock. It took me a minute to process before I asked my questions of “are you sure?” And “what’s the next step?” And (probably most importantly) “can I eat lunch before I come back?” (The answer to that was thankfully yes since I wasn’t having a c section.) I walked back to work and called Nick. I told him we were having a baby today, so he should pack that bag that I’d been telling him to pack for weeks now. I called my mom and made sure she would pick up Vinny from school. I went into my principal’s office and said, “I’m having a baby today!” Then I found both boys and explained to them what was going on and what they would be doing for the next few days while I was in the hospital. Then I went home and talked to Sydney, explained everything, and waited until my mom came over to get Sydney before going to pick up Vinny. Nick and I drove up to the hospital, and I’m pretty sure I was still in shock. For some reason, we started off in triage, but I got hooked up to the monitors and was there for a bit before heading to labor and delivery.

Continue reading “Tony’s Birth Story”

Raise Those Kids Right

Last night was a rough night for Mommy and Vinny.  I’ve been off all summer, and just started back to work this week with inservices and meetings which means that the kids were back to the babysitter.  Well, if you remember, we are living in my parents’ house while we fix up our new house and sell our old one, so we had to switch Vincent’s babysitter right about the time when he turned 2.  It’s better, but it’s still a hard transition for the little man.  And “hard transition” equals not napping or eating and becoming a train wreck the entire night.  I know he’ll figure it out once we get back into the swing of things, but last night he was up at 12:30 and came into Mommy’s bed for the rest of the night.  (Not a practice I make a habit of…in fact, this was the first time he’s spent the entire night in our bed, but I digress…)  So, needless to say, Mommy didn’t get a great night’s sleep, and I don’t think Vinny did either.

When Sydney got up to eat around 6:30ish, I was looking at my phone, checking my emails and texts, and, of course, browsing Facebook.  Well, if you are friends with me in real life, or on Facebook (or both!) you probably saw a status I had posted asking for prayers and positivity as I went back to school and didn’t get to spend 24/7 with my kiddos.  I got so many beautiful comments telling me basically what I already knew (but still needed to hear) it IS possible to be a good employee AND a good mother.  I saw that someone else commented on that status (a person I haven’t seen or spoken to in over 10 years) and this is what she wrote, “You wanted kids so badly, and now you want to leave them?  WHY??? You should stay at home and raise those kids right.” Continue reading “Raise Those Kids Right”

Half a Year

Super Sydney is officially 6 months old today!  It’s hard to believe that she’s been an “outside baby” for half a year already.  She’s pretty lazy – doesn’t so much want to roll or try to crawl or anything.  Whenever she tries to roll, it gets too hard, so she sucks her thumb and lays down instead.  I mean, I guess I can’t blame her.  Her personality is still so pleasant – lots of smiles, coos, and very happy.  She doesn’t nap hardly at all, (unless she’s laying on Mommy or Nonna) but she does sleep for 8-10 hours at night, so I can’t complain too much.  She loves her toes, and she’s chomping on everything, so we’re expecting teeth soon.  I think we’ll start introducing solids soon.  The plan is to try baby led weaning…more on that in future blog posts.

IMG_3707Vincent the Magnificent loves his sister…sometimes too much.  “I hold Sydney! I need to do tummy time too!”  And then he plops himself down next to her – sometimes narrowly missing her head, sometimes accidentally (or on purpose) stepping on her hands or feet.  Sibling love right? Continue reading “Half a Year”

The Difference Between Bonding and Love

Before Vinny’s adoption was finalized, once a month we would have a social worker come out to our house to make sure everything was going ok. She talked to Husband and I together and separately. She also talked to Z separately when he was there. One of the questions she always asked was, ‘How’s bonding with the baby going?’ And I always responded that it was going very well, but I didn’t quite get what she was asking. Did I love the baby? Absolutely. Did I want to keep him? YES! Did he feel like my son even though I didn’t give birth to him? 100%. So, sure, I was bonding just fine.

Now that I’ve been pregnant and given birth, I think I understand the question a bit better. Bonding and love are not mutually exclusive. They are both important when raising children, but they don’t necessarily happen at the same time, and that ok. Continue reading “The Difference Between Bonding and Love”

When Breastfeeding Works

So, Super Sydney has been on this earth for almost one month now, and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed her the entire time, until her last feeding when she had breast milk in a bottle and Husband fed her, and I pumped.  After she was born I never thought I’d be jealous to see someone else feeding my child.  I mean, with Vincent, Husband and I took turns feeding him…even the grandparents got in on the action.  I suppose when you’re exclusively formula fed it’s much easier to accept.

When I was pregnant and anyone asked if I was planning on breastfeeding, I always told them yes, as long as I can. So many of my friends and relatives have had issues breastfeeding (including Bridgette) and Vincent was exclusively formula fed and is thriving, so I knew I wasn’t going to beat myself up if I was unable to breastfeed. Continue reading “When Breastfeeding Works”

Life’s Little (or big) Stresses

If anyone ever tells you that it’s a good idea to have a 9 year old, a toddler, and a newborn while trying to sell your house, fix up a new house, and take over your parents basement, they’re lying to you. It’s not a good idea. Not at all. Continue reading “Life’s Little (or big) Stresses”

An Open Letter to my Son Before You Become a Big Brother

Dear Vincent,

I wish I could explain everything to you in a way that I know your adorable 20 month old brain would understand, but that’s a daunting task.  So, instead, I’ll write this out so someday you’ll read it and know just how important and special you are to Daddy and I.

I didn’t give birth to you, but the moment I met you I knew you were my son. The first time I held you in my arms and kissed your sweet face, I was in love – deeper and more in love than I could possibly be with anyone.  Even though technically and legally you weren’t “mine,” in my heart you were 100% my son, and I knew I would spend the rest of my life loving you, raising you, helping you, protecting you. Continue reading “An Open Letter to my Son Before You Become a Big Brother”

Is Domestic Infant Adoption Right For Me?

There are so many roads to take if you are hoping to adopt, domestic infant adoption is one of them. Check out my article to see if domestic infant adoption might be the right road for you to take when adopting a child.

https://adoption.com/is-domestic-infant-adoption-right-for-me

 

An Open Letter to Hopeful Adoptive Parents

Even though I have a beautiful family now, I still remember how it felt when I was a hopeful adoptive parent…from baby showers to bitterness, there’s a lot of emotions that can make you feel invisible. I know. I walked in those shoes, and my experiences will forever shape the kind of person and mother I am and continue to be.

To read the letter please click on the link:

https://adoption.com/an-open-letter-to-hopeful-adoptive-parents

I see you hopeful adoptive parents. You’re not invisible to me.

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