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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

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Vincent the Magnificent

Tony’s Birth Story

On Monday, May 3 I had what I dismissed as a passing thought – “I bet I go to the doctor tomorrow and she tells me I’m going to have a baby that day.” I’d had no consistent contractions and really nothing to base this thought on except the fact that at over 39 weeks I was certainly ready to not be pregnant anymore. So, I went about my day. But I made sure to really enjoy my time with Sydney since it was going to be our last Monday together as just us. Tuesday started off well enough. I got observed at work and then walked to the hospital for my 10:00 doctor appointment. I got on the non stress test machine (because at 37, I am “advanced maternal age” and have these tests as a precaution every week from 36 weeks on) and normally baby shows off for these tests, moving like crazy, heart rate doing what it’s supposed to do, just generally being an awesome baby. Well, Tuesday was the exception – he barely moved and his heart rate stayed steady instead of spiking like it should. They called it a non responsive non stress test and sent me upstairs for an ultrasound to check fluid, movement, and baby’s practice breathing. I had noticed some decreased movement in the previous days (he always moved the required amount, but it wasn’t like he normally moved) and I mentioned that to the doctor, along with the fact that I was nauseous and throwing up the past few days. The ultrasound came back fine. He did what he was supposed to do, so when the tech said, “Let me see if the doctor wants to talk to you.” I figured I’d be scheduling an induction for Sunday (his due date) and going home to see if spontaneous labor started prior to then. But she didn’t say that, she came in and told me it wasn’t an immediate concern, but, essentially, because of the non responsive NST and the decreased movement, she recommended inducing that day because the risks of that were close to zero while the risks of waiting increased the chance of complications.

That was a shock. It took me a minute to process before I asked my questions of “are you sure?” And “what’s the next step?” And (probably most importantly) “can I eat lunch before I come back?” (The answer to that was thankfully yes since I wasn’t having a c section.) I walked back to work and called Nick. I told him we were having a baby today, so he should pack that bag that I’d been telling him to pack for weeks now. I called my mom and made sure she would pick up Vinny from school. I went into my principal’s office and said, “I’m having a baby today!” Then I found both boys and explained to them what was going on and what they would be doing for the next few days while I was in the hospital. Then I went home and talked to Sydney, explained everything, and waited until my mom came over to get Sydney before going to pick up Vinny. Nick and I drove up to the hospital, and I’m pretty sure I was still in shock. For some reason, we started off in triage, but I got hooked up to the monitors and was there for a bit before heading to labor and delivery.

Continue reading “Tony’s Birth Story”

Heavy

2020 is a heavy year. To think back to January when things started out quite optimistically with talk of 2020 vision and this truly being our year. Wow, things have changed.

I love New Years Eve. It’s one of my favorite holidays. There’s something cleansing about starting a new calendar year. I know it’s just another day and things don’t really change unless you let them, but still… it’s always been one of my favorite holidays. Something about counting down to midnight, the abundance of hope, and joy. And this year we rang in the new year with some very dear friends – the kids all played (and stayed up until midnight!) with their friends as well. What I wouldn’t give to go back to that time.

This week has been extra heavy for me, and it’s only Wednesday. Continue reading “Heavy”

Smile

I remember when I was 26 and going through a terrible break up, at a job I hated, and generally feeling like maybe life wasn’t supposed to work out the way I wanted it to.  Or that I wasn’t supposed to be happy…like, maybe this is just how life is.  I was talking to someone, and I kept asking why?  Why is this happening to me?  Why am I feeling this way?  Why, why, why?  He told me, “You can’t ask ‘why’ because you won’t always get an answer.  The question you need to be asking is ‘what now?'” Continue reading “Smile”

Get Back in the Boat

Matthew 8:23-27

Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”

He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.

The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”

Jesus calms the waters.  He can.  He will.  He does.  Our job?  Stay in the boat.  It’s so tempting right now to jump out and try to save ourselves, to swim away, to nearly drown because it feels like we’re in control.  Continue reading “Get Back in the Boat”

State of the Family

So, I promised a “state of the family” blog post, and here it is – so soon after my last one.  Could it be I’m actually going to be able to write more?

Anyway, as my kids get older, I struggle with telling their stories.  How much should I write?  What should I say?  What’s appropriate for me to share verses what’s theirs to share?  I think I’ll keep this blog for my feelings, and, while yes, many of my feelings revolve around being a mom, I’m not blogging anonymously, so I won’t share anything I wouldn’t share publicly anyway or without my kid’s knowledge and consent.

The short is, our family is good.  We’re all in a fairly good place right now.  We have hit some type of “status quo” with 3 kids, and we’re managing along day to day.  There are ups and downs, but nothing earth shattering.  And maybe that’s ok.

Vinny and Sydney love and fight as only siblings 20 months apart can do.  It seems that at least once a day they’re teaming together scheming against Husband and I, telling each other they are best friends, and also “never ever ever playing” with each other again.  So, typical, right?  I hope they remain this close.  I hope they realize that adoption and biology don’t mean much when it comes to their love for and relationship with each other.

Z is 12.  If you know anyone who is 12 or you remember being 12, you know that three word sentence says more than most soliloquies.  I have a lot more that I could say, but I’ll just leave it at that…

A short update, but good to be writing again.

 

 

Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backwards

Disclaimer:  This post has nothing to do with desserts.  Sorry.

I read an article called Mothers are Drowning in Stress, and I felt so many emotions about it.  I even started crying while reading it.

Let me back up a bit – I’ve been fortunate enough to be home with my kids for the past 2 weeks as Vinny has been recovering from an adenotonsillectomy.

As a teacher, I know we have a certain amount of paid days off (personal/sick/whatever) per year, but I always try not to use them since we have built in vacations and days off into the school year. Continue reading “Stressed is Desserts Spelled Backwards”

Everything is Worse at Night

I have a manageable, but terrible, generalized anxiety disorder. I’ve written about it before. It’s not a secret nor is it something I’m ashamed of, but it’s something I wish I didn’t have to deal with. My biggest anxiety triggers: my kids not sleeping and my kids being sick. Unfortunately for me, many times these come as a double whammy. Tonight (or this morning depending on who you talk to since it’s currently 2:30 am as I write this) is no exception.

My husband has been sick with some ‘tummy troubles’ the past couple of days. We take this term from one of Vinny’s favorite books, Dragons Love Tacos. And while (to Vinny’s slight disappointment) no one burned down anything because of tummy troubles, it’s not been a pleasant experience.

Last night, we celebrated my Grandma’s 90th birthday. Just went out to dinner – nothing fancy. We’re having a big party for her over Labor Day weekend. So, the little kids and I joined for dinner. Z is with his mom, and Husband had to sleep since he went back to work today (or yesterday – again, it’s late…or early).  Well, Miss Sydney fell asleep on the way home – which is *usually* great because I’d already changed her diaper and her clothes and then I could just lay her down and she’ll sleep all night.  Wheee!  Except, when I went to get her out of the carseat, it smelled terrible.  Moms, you know the smell.  And as I’m doing a quick inventory of her and her clothes and her carseat, I see the unmistakable liquid poop stain covering half of her shirt.  Oh great. Continue reading “Everything is Worse at Night”

Hail Mary, Full of Grace

For the past few months, I’ve been saying silent decades of the rosary when laying my kids to sleep. I figure it’s as good of a time as any, and it really helps me focus and stay calm instead of letting my anxiety spiral out of control because WHY AREN’T THESE KIDS SLEEPING YET? Continue reading “Hail Mary, Full of Grace”

Updates!

So, it’s been awhile…

Life gets busier with 3 kids – who would’ve thought?  I wanted to give a brief update since BBB has dropped off the face of the earth.  I’m sure Bridgette will update when she’s able, but she’s had plenty of life changing events happen within the past several months to keep her plenty busy.  I’ll update by family member, starting with our youngest: Continue reading “Updates!”

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