So, it’s officially been one week since I’ve left my house.  I mean, I’ve gone outside, but I haven’t left my yard or neighborhood.  This is the way of the world now.  This is our new normal.  Shelter in place.  Stay at home.  It’s an order.  It’s a law.  It’s for the good of everyone.  It can and will save lives.

But it also can last a long time and probably will last longer than anyone who is not well versed in the study of pandemics imagines.  I’m trying to wrap my brain around the fact that this will most likely not be “weeks” that we’re talking about but “months”…I don’t even want to speculate “years” because that’s getting way ahead of myself.  Look, I don’t know.  I’m a music teacher who reads the news and listens to Governor DeWine and Dr. Amy Acton (a fricken rock star, I tell you) so I know no more than the average person.  I’m just writing because it’s giving me something to do, somewhere to put my thoughts, an outlet when all else seems lost. 

I’m scared.  I think everyone is.  I think it’s the unknown that’s scary.  Like, I know I’m doing what’s best for myself and my family by isolating and social distancing ourselves, but it’s just the unknown…that this virus is out there…and we have to stay home…and we don’t have any sense of normalcy…and no one really knows.  They have to wait and study how the virus acts.  I’m praying constantly for a miracle and an end to this virus.  It’s hard when literally the only thing I can do is…nothing.  Quarantine myself and my family and stay home.  Ok, so it’s not actually that hard to do nothing, but I’m someone who likes to act…sometimes to the detriment of my choices because I’ll speak or act without thinking it all the way through, but now my action step has to be…nothing.  Stay home.  Shelter in place.  And I have to make that enough.  I have to treat it as an action.  My heroic action is…staying home.

I have to take every minute as it comes.  Today had struggles and joys.  Sydney and I had a delightful dance party in the kitchen where she giggled and I held her close and swung her around.  Vinny was so excited to officially begin his homeschooling, and my boy was so happy to see his teachers on a video.  They made rainbows.

A rainbow.  A sign of the covenant.  A promise that the Earth would NOT be destroyed.  That needs to be where we focus.  I wrote before about Jesus calming the waters, now we need to look for the rainbow.  Because it will happen.  We will defeat this virus, and we will come out of it stronger.  And there will be rainbows, promises, covenants.  I just don’t know when.  And that’s hard.  And the action of doing nothing is hard.  And it’s all just hard.

But it will end.  Because it has to.  And until then, one day at a time.  One everything at a time.  That’s the only way I’ll be able to make the action of doing nothing work.