Then he got into the boat and his disciples followed him. Suddenly a furious storm came up on the lake, so that the waves swept over the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples went and woke him, saying, “Lord, save us! We’re going to drown!”
He replied, “You of little faith, why are you so afraid?” Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm.
The men were amazed and asked, “What kind of man is this? Even the winds and the waves obey him!”
Jesus calms the waters. He can. He will. He does. Our job? Stay in the boat. It’s so tempting right now to jump out and try to save ourselves, to swim away, to nearly drown because it feels like we’re in control.
In a world that is seemingly slipping out of control, it’s hard to feel like you have any control of anything. Closings and viruses and social distancing and pandemics…it’s so so so so so scary. My anxiety is through the roof. I’m staying home. I’m trying to keep myself sane. I’m trying to keep my family sane. I’m trying to figure out how to work/teach remotely while also being a mom and a wife and a friend. Of course, being a friend is all virtual also. So, thank goodness for technology because this extrovert is not doing well with the thought of being cooped up in my house for weeks. (It’s not even been a full week of staying home, and we’ve been able to play outside every day, and I’m still feeling isolated.) But I also don’t want to leave for fear of undoing all of the good that social distancing is proven to do.
I’m not in control.
And I know I can’t be. I know I shouldn’t be. I know that I need to let Jesus take control. And I need to get back in the boat.
One day at a time. One hour at a time. One minute at a time. One breath at a time.
(One drink at a time?) 😉
Today is hard. It probably won’t be the hardest in what’s to come, but I must remember to stay in the boat, and when I ultimately jump off because I’m human and not perfect and need to feel like I have some control, I know Jesus is going to grab my arm and pull me back in.
The waters will calm. Not knowing when or how or anything is hard. But I know the waters will calm. And I will be safe. And my family will be safe. And I can only control what I can.
So, I will get back in the boat. Even if I jump out 25,000 times a day. I’ll get back in the boat.