Super Sydney is officially 6 months old today!  It’s hard to believe that she’s been an “outside baby” for half a year already.  She’s pretty lazy – doesn’t so much want to roll or try to crawl or anything.  Whenever she tries to roll, it gets too hard, so she sucks her thumb and lays down instead.  I mean, I guess I can’t blame her.  Her personality is still so pleasant – lots of smiles, coos, and very happy.  She doesn’t nap hardly at all, (unless she’s laying on Mommy or Nonna) but she does sleep for 8-10 hours at night, so I can’t complain too much.  She loves her toes, and she’s chomping on everything, so we’re expecting teeth soon.  I think we’ll start introducing solids soon.  The plan is to try baby led weaning…more on that in future blog posts.

IMG_3707Vincent the Magnificent loves his sister…sometimes too much.  “I hold Sydney! I need to do tummy time too!”  And then he plops himself down next to her – sometimes narrowly missing her head, sometimes accidentally (or on purpose) stepping on her hands or feet.  Sibling love right?

For some reason, Sydney seems younger than Vinny when he turned 6 months.  Probably because he did everything early – rolling and teeth at 4 months, crawling at 6 months, walking and words by 11 months… But that’s just who he is – he’s constantly busy, on the go.  He’s quite independent and head strong.  He knows what he wants, and he’s not shy about letting anyone know exactly what that might be.  I wonder if Sydney’s personality will be similar to how she is as a baby – laid back and a little lazy.  (Please, please, please don’t have Mommy’s anxiety!!)

Today also marks 6 months of exclusively breastfeeding (pumping at work) Sydney.  While my big goal is still making it to one year with nursing, I’m super proud of myself for getting this far.  Thankfully, we’ve had a fairly easy time with this journey so far.  She’s latched well, my milk production has been just what she needs, I’ve been able to pump enough for when I go to work, and she’s growing like she should be.  The fact that breastfeeding has been going so well makes me feel incredibly blessed.  I even hate pumping less than I did before…probably because when I’m doing it at work I feel closer to Sydney, and when I’m doing it at home (since Syd sleeps through the night, sometimes I’ll pump before I go to bed just to add some to my freezer stash and so I don’t wake up with my breasts ready to explode) it’s still not quite as terrible.

The other day, for the first time ever, Vinny came up to me, pulled down my shirt, and said he wanted to eat like Sydney eats.  Initially, I thought it was funny because he’s been wanting to do more “baby” things since Sydney has been born, so of course he’d want to eat like his sister.  But it also made me feel kind of sad that I didn’t (couldn’t) breastfeed him.  There’s such a closeness and connection I feel when I’m feeding Sydney.  There’s nothing better than her falling asleep when she’s nursing.  Vinny is (and has always been) such a Daddy’s boy.  He’s my husband’s little buddy.  Most of the time I think it’s adorable, but sometimes it makes me jealous.  And then I go down the rabbit hole of thinking “maybe I should’ve really looked into figuring out how to breastfeed a baby who was adopted…did I make the right choices when he was younger in formula feeding him?  Should I have gotten breastmilk donated? Etc. etc. etc.”

I know my reasons for not choosing to try to breastfeed a baby I didn’t give birth to are valid, but, man, mom guilt is so real.  If I’m being completely honest, I think that’s a big reason I so badly want to make it to a year (at least) breastfeeding Sydney.  I couldn’t do it with Vinny, and I’m feeling guilty about it, so I want to breastfeed Sydney as long as I possibly can.

IMG_99746 months went by way too quickly…this mama is just not ready for her kids to grow up!