Before Vinny’s adoption was finalized, once a month we would have a social worker come out to our house to make sure everything was going ok. She talked to Husband and I together and separately. She also talked to Z separately when he was there. One of the questions she always asked was, ‘How’s bonding with the baby going?’ And I always responded that it was going very well, but I didn’t quite get what she was asking. Did I love the baby? Absolutely. Did I want to keep him? YES! Did he feel like my son even though I didn’t give birth to him? 100%. So, sure, I was bonding just fine.
Now that I’ve been pregnant and given birth, I think I understand the question a bit better. Bonding and love are not mutually exclusive. They are both important when raising children, but they don’t necessarily happen at the same time, and that ok. Continue reading “The Difference Between Bonding and Love”