So, Super Sydney has been on this earth for almost one month now, and I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to breastfeed her the entire time, until her last feeding when she had breast milk in a bottle and Husband fed her, and I pumped.  After she was born I never thought I’d be jealous to see someone else feeding my child.  I mean, with Vincent, Husband and I took turns feeding him…even the grandparents got in on the action.  I suppose when you’re exclusively formula fed it’s much easier to accept.

When I was pregnant and anyone asked if I was planning on breastfeeding, I always told them yes, as long as I can. So many of my friends and relatives have had issues breastfeeding (including Bridgette) and Vincent was exclusively formula fed and is thriving, so I knew I wasn’t going to beat myself up if I was unable to breastfeed.

Well, from the minute she was born, Sydney has had an amazing latch. I haven’t ever had any issues getting her to latch. In the hospital, I wasn’t sure I’d be able to keep up with the demands of breastfeeding. She literally wanted to eat ALL OF THE TIME. I couldn’t get an hour of sleep without her wanting to eat again. It made me think that maybe I wasn’t making enough because all she wanted to do was eat. I talked to a lactation consultant who told me two things that really made me feel better: 1. It’s ok to take breaks. And 2. Introduce a bottle around one month old. She said that once my milk came in after Sydney had eaten for 20 minutes on one side the breast would be empty and I should switch her to the other side if she still seemed hungry. These tips were a mental lifesaver in the hospital.

So today, two days shy of Sydney’s one month birthday (when I wrote this, not when it published) we tried a bottle with breast milk, and I was super jealous. She took the bottle and ate like a champ (which I am glad about because I want her to eat when I go back to work) but I hate pumping.  I pumped while someone else fed her.  And it made me jealous.

It would have been different if Husband was feeding Sydney and I got time with Vinny, but I only got time with my breast pump…feeling a bit like a cow.  I’ll continue to pump because I want her to have breast milk all of the time, but pumping is so mechanical and doesn’t give me bonding time with my child.

I think we’ll continue to give her a bottle every other day or so just so she can get used to it, but I’ll definitely miss that breastfeeding session. I never thought I’d say this, but I’m really liking breastfeeding.  It’s just completely amazing that my body can make food for this tiny person who grew inside of me.

I will still never judge anyone for how they feed their children. I know it’s natural to breastfeed, but I also know it’s not natural for everyone. So again, I consider myself incredibly lucky that I’m able to breastfeed, it works for Sydney and I, and we both can enjoy that time we have together.

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