So, I started writing a pretty negative post today about how I’ve been feeling judgment, and I was going to be quite yell-y and probably judgmental myself towards the people and groups of people who I perceived were judging me. Then I went to Mass, and, as it usually happens, I was struck over the head with a spiritual 2×4. The gospel today included this story:
Why do you notice the splinter in your brother’s eye,
but do not perceive the wooden beam in your own?
How can you say to your brother,
‘Brother, let me remove that splinter in your eye,’
when you do not even notice the wooden beam in your own eye?
You hypocrite! Remove the wooden beam from your eye first;
then you will see clearly
to remove the splinter in your brother’s eye.
Ok, thanks God – new direction for my post. Instead of judging others, please allow me first to examine myself. How can I preach #nojudgementzone but not live it on a daily basis? I need to be better. When someone judges me, or I perceive myself to be judged by someone (because, let’s face it, most people are probably not sitting at home thinking about things I need to change about myself or do better – it’s pretty much in my head) I need to examine myself before simply spitting back their venom into their own face. Because if I do that, I’m no better than the judger in the first place.
Is it easy? Nope. Will I always do it? Of course not. I’m human. I can’t tell you the amount of mistakes I make in a day, an hour even… But if I’m aware, that’s the first step.
God, help me to be more aware. Aware of myself, aware of my own hypocritical tendencies and aware of when I’m judging someone who quite possibly needs to be loved instead. Let me love instead of judge. Let me heal instead of hurt. Let me remember that my best is all I can give.