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Betrothed Babies Blog

Sometimes about babies, sometimes about us, always cathartic

Month

November 2015

I am thankful…

Every year for Thanksgiving, my family sits down to dinner, but before we eat, we go around the table and say what we are thankful for that year.  Sometimes people go all out, writing out exactly what they want to say, but mostly people just speak from the heart.  Inevitably, there’s always lots of tears, hugs, and love that’s shared around the table.

This year, I’d like to write out what I’m thankful for because it’s a big one:

Last year in November, I didn’t have much to be thankful for.  I had an infertility diagnosis, adoption discussions with Husband that weren’t always pretty, two part time jobs that were more life draining than life giving, and I was feeling pretty low.  But, we had publicly announced our plans to adopt, so there was one bright spot in what was not the best year. This year didn’t start off much better.  We had several potential matches that didn’t go anywhere, continued issues with fertility, and the jobs were still draining my life.  I tried to remain positive.  I tried to see God’s higher plan, but it was hard.  It was seeming that this year would be a repeat of last year with more disappointments and heartaches. Continue reading “I am thankful…”

Give Thanks

 This time of year can be so completely wonderful and an amazing way to look back at the year that’s gone by. I remember getting home from Thanksgiving last year and being full, happy, and so full of hope for the year ahead. Part of me thought that optimism couldn’t be topped. We had just found out the baby growing inside me was a baby girl and I had recently started an amazing job. 

  
This year has been so much more than I expected. Through an amazing turn of fate we were able to buy an incredible house in a really cool area sooner than we thought was possible. It may not be the best part of town, but we were able to get just about everything we wanted on our list. 

Having Princess Chalupa (aka Keely Kangaroo’s name before we had settled on a name) has been the most inspiring adventure. I can’t describe the feeling of watching her grow and be an overall happy baby. She’s not only captivating, but just the perfect little best friend. I feel like a real mom now because we just got our first (of many, I’m sure) hand turkey. 

  
I’m obviously grateful for my husband. He’s my best friend and even when we disagree he makes me want to be a better person. He’s the best father in the world to Keely. He just adores her. 

 

Having a job is something to be thankful for, but having a job you love is even better. I am so passionate about what I, doing and the company I work for. It’s really a great organization, one full of great people, each one pushing the others to be the best.  It doesn’t hurt that I get to work from home. 

Finally, I’m thankful for my family. You may be wondering: what about my friends. I consider my friends my family by choice. But whether by choice or birth, my family constantly shapes me and loves me like no ones. I am obviously thankful for my #mombff, Ryann. She’s my light in some of the darkest moments and rejoices alongside me in the best. She entertains my crazy ideas and pushes me to think things through. 

Oh! And I’m thankful for all of you readers out there. No matter if I know you personally, tangentially, or you’re a complete stranger. This blog, even when I don’t post regularly, has helped me so much. It’s helped me feel as if I’m part of something bigger. 

 And I almost forgot about my puppy! I’m grateful for her, even when she’s being incredibly needy. She’s been my sidekick for 5 and a half years and I’m so happy she’s finally starting to accept Keely. 
   

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!!! 

Why It’s Important to ‘Be You’ in your Adoption Profile

My first published article in Adoption.com talks about how important it is to present yourself and your family as real, imperfect human beings when you are creating your profile book for potential birthparents to view.

Please check out the article through this link: http://adoption.com/important-be-you-in-your-adoption-profile

Adoption.com

I have some exciting news I’m now ready to make public – I am officially a staff writer for the website Adoption.com!

This new adventure started as a shameless promotion of this very blog.  I follow a lot of adoption type groups/websites on Facebook, and I thought I’d promote Betrothed Babies Blog, while asking them how they get people to write the articles they post.  I knew I had a voice that could be added to the content they already publish, and it was time to do a little self promotion!

I messaged about 4 different groups, giving them the link to the blog and asking how they hired their writers, and Adoption.com responded back saying they loved the blog and offered me a spot as a staff writer!

My first article will be published next week, and I’ll link to all of the articles I write for them on this blog as well.

Don’t worry, I’ll still be writing plenty of other content (adoption, new mommy, step mom, infertility, life, etc.) that is specific to Betrothed Babies Blog, and can only be found here.

I’m very excited about this opportunity to continue to talk about adoption, and I thank you all in advance for your continued support!

Sports and Singing and Sanity…oh my!

How much ‘stuff’ does your kid do? How much is too much?  Growing up, my parents always told my brother and I that we could do whatever extra curricular activity we wanted provided 1. Our grades stayed up and 2. We stuck out the activity for the entire season.

Now, I was lucky. I found my ‘niche’ pretty early on in life. I was 8 when I performed in my first musical, and it was over from there. I was hooked and doing musicals was my thing. I did about 3 shows a year (mostly through fall, spring, and summer theatre camps) but I loved it. I still love it and still perform when it fits into my schedule.

I tried a few other activities along the way. I played softball for several summers. (I stunk, but my dad was the coach, and he made me feel like I was the best player on the team.) I even ran track one year in middle school only because my friends were running. My friend Sarah and I cared more about our matching track French braids than we did our running times.  Continue reading “Sports and Singing and Sanity…oh my!”

Is it wrong…?

Is it wrong to still mourn my infertility as I sit and watch my son laugh and play in his exersaucer? Is it wrong to still feel a twinge (ok, sometimes more like an explosion) of jealousy when friends and family members announce their pregnancy to me? It is wrong to love adoption and be so happy to be a mom but still mourn the loss of the biological children I’ll never have?

I’m feeling conflicted today. One of my dear friends recently announced she was pregnant, and I am SO HAPPY for her. I’m not just saying that. I truly am. But, I’m also jealous. Why can’t I randomly have sex with my husband and find out a few weeks later that I’m pregnant? Why does it work for other people and not for me?

And I know. I know I wanted to be a mom, not necessarily wanted to be pregnant (although, most of the time, the two go hand in hand), and I am a mom. I can’t imagine my life without Vincent in it. I truly believe he was meant to be my son from before I even met Husband. And I’m happy! I love Vincent. I love my family. I love his birthparents. I love my life.

526b9bdb4aa3dc1f22651f6dcaeb6d7bSo why? Why still was I up at night sobbing because I found out happy news about a friend being pregnant? Why can’t I shake the feeling that it’s not fair? That somewhere, someone is raising a large middle finger my way and saying “ha ha ha, look at what all these other people get, and you can’t!” Why does it still bother me? Continue reading “Is it wrong…?”

Adoption Ink

Well, I’m officially a girl with ink. I took the plunge and went under the needle and got the most beautiful, one of a kind, adoption symbol tattooed above my right ankle. And I’m still in shock that I actually did it.

If you don’t know me personally and haven’t been able to pick up on it from my writing, I’m a bit of a goody two shoes. (Right now Bridgette is laughing, shaking her head, and saying ‘ only a bit???’) I’m a rule follower, and I’m anxiety ridden about breaking the rules or getting in trouble. I’ve always been afraid of getting in trouble for as long as I can remember. I would be terrified to have to show my parents a bad grade (which, for me, was really anything lower than a B+). I hated (and still hate) when people are mad at me. I’m a people pleaser. I don’t like conflict. I’m a “good Catholic girl”, and I do everything a “good Catholic girl” should. Mostly.

So, getting a tattoo is wayyyyy out of character for me. Even thinking about getting a tattoo is out of character. Because it doesn’t fit into the nice box I have for my rule following life. But, for some reason, about a week ago, I felt very strongly that I really wanted to get a tattoo. I think the emotions of Vincent’s finalization caught up with me, and I wanted a permanent artistic representation of everything I’ve been through. Continue reading “Adoption Ink”

National Adoption Month

November is National Adoption Month.  Last year, Husband and I publicly announced our plans to adopt during this month.  Who knew we’d be parents to a beautiful 6 month old baby boy only a short year later?

Adoption has truly changed our lives for the better.  We now have another son (one who permanently lives with us).  My parents are first time grandparents to a baby.  My brother now has a baby nephew.  My grandparents are first time great grandparents to a baby.  My aunts and uncles all get to add “great” to their names too.  My cousins’ kids now have a new friend to grow up and play with.  My friends became “aunties” and “uncles”.  Husband, Z, and I gained two new family members in Vincent’s birthparents.  Even our friends of friends seem to be positively affected by our adoption story. Continue reading “National Adoption Month”

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