I’m impatient. I don’t take my time with many things. I’m a doer and not a talker. But, thankfully, Husband is the kind of person who does take time to learn about everything, the kind of person who reads reviews before buying a product, the kind of person who gets several quotes before deciding who to hire to do work around the house, the kind of person with the patience of a saint. In short, the kind of person who balances me out. (And consequently, annoys the crap out of me.) 🙂
How do you start when looking into adoption? Well, google is where we went first. I googled adoption agencies and requested information for some of them. Since I wanted to start right away, I was ready to use the first agency that had a pretty website and people who had written great reviews on the website. Until Husband stepped in and googled some reviews on this agency which were horrible! I mean, people were matched with children who didn’t exist. Families were not given the full medical information of their babies who came to them with diseases, many times fatal, and their infants died within days of placement. Families were forced to sign a contract saying they weren’t allowed to say anything bad about the agency should their adoption fall through or some thing go wrong. It was awful. And I was terrified.
We looked into doing an adoption with a lawyer. From what I understand, that’s much less expensive, but a lot harder. For one, we’d have to find our own birthmother. I don’t know about you, but trolling outside hospitals, doctor’s offices, or Planned Parenthood handing out “please let me parent your child” pamphlets to anyone who looks like they aren’t planning on parenting does NOT seem like a good time to me. Granted, this is an extreme case, and most people who find their own birthmothers do so in a very organic way – friend of a friend, family members, church members, etc. – but Husband and I were not in this boat.
Thankfully, one of my best friend’s moms works for child and family services in the county where Husband and I live. She recommended two agencies to us that did private infant adoption. We researched both of them, and they both seemed like good places, so we chose the one closest to our house assuming we’d be making several trips there throughout the adoption process.
We ended up using Caring for Kids, and we had an amazing experience with them. Every person who works there is caring and really seems genuinely interested in your best interests. From the very first emails and phone calls, I felt as ease. They answered all of my “how do I start” questions (which I’m sure they’ve heard thousands of times) with as much detail as if it was the first time they’d ever answered the question. They provided thorough, compassionate training which I felt was very helpful and not full of a bunch of information you didn’t really need to know. We were truly able to see adoption through the eyes of a birthmother and try to walk in her shoes during the process. But the best part is, they counsel their birthmothers. No woman who walks into that agency is ever forced to make an adoption plan for her child. They are given information about all of their options and support no matter which path they choose. As an adoptive mom, this may not seem like a big deal, but it is HUGE! To me, this shows that the birthmothers are making an educated, informed decision. The last thing I’d ever want for a birthmother is to regret her choice, but Caring for Kids does a wonderful job of coaching them before, during, and after the adoption process.
They don’t only do private infant adoptions, but they also do public adoptions as well as foster care. If you’re considering adoption – as a potential birthmother or adoptive mother – please consider checking out Caring for Kids. They are truly amazing to work with.